Ep 8. Support Your Entrepreneur Friends, They're Tired

Episode Transcript:

Miesha Williams 0:21

Hey guys, so I'm here today with a little bonus episode. I'm not even sure if we can call it an episode probably like point five of an episode. And we're gonna do something a little bit different today. Nobody knows I'm recording right now. I'm going to publish the same day.

So very often, I see people post on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, complaining about people around them, not supporting them. And my advice to those people is always you have to see your own vision. You know, you can't expect the people around you to buy what you're putting out to buy your products to support you. You know, just based off the strength that it's you and they know you. You know, when you are building an audience when you are building a base, a customer, customer base, a fan base, whatever you're doing based on what you're into,when you are building your base, right? Your goal is to engage with people who truly connect with your content, with your products.

So just asking your family to support, asking your friends to support I mean, one would expect that someone that loves you would be there to give that support to you but that's not always the case. And we see very often that is not the case. And so some of us are guilty of it ourselves, of watching our friends start their businesses to start their adventures and scrolling right past it. And to be honest, a comment, a like a reshare, repost you know, it's free, that's the fastest, easiest and free way that you can support somebody that you love as they venture out somewhere new. But a lot of times we don't do that. So my advice to people who are feeling down when they see that the people around them are just not clicking with the content that they're posting, is to remember what your vision is. Remember your why, remember why you're doing this. Remember why you're passionate about it, right? Because if this is something that you truly love, you're not doing it for anybody else. You're doing it for yourself. You're doing it because you love it, you're doing it, you're doing it because you can see the changes, the effects, the impacts, that this project that you're working on will have. And I had to remind myself of that this morning. So today is what the 29th or the 30th maybe the 29th. I'm gonna stop guessing. But I woke up this morning and if you follow me on Twitter, you seen that I was in a little bit of a bad mood.

And if you don't follow me on Twitter, please don't go there. We get a little bit more professional, you know, on other platforms, but it gets a little ghetto on twitter sometimes. But I had to remind myself of this that this morning because I noticed that a friend of mine, who is very close to me, who knows what I do, who has been there to see how hard that I work on the projects when I take them on has literally ignored every single thing that I've posted from my business pages. And yet, came and re posted a very similar posts that a influencer who is highly visible posted today with very similar content to what I posted, you know? And that's hella frustrating. But at the same time, there may be a reason why people are able to connect with influencers with more visibility than they are with me, the person they've know for years. I mean, I don't see it right now. But you know, we're talking through it we're talking through it together aren't we? Just bear with me for a second.

So I'm gonna like swivel this conversation a little bit to the area of which the frustration really comes in at for me. So it's not so much so that my friends and family don't support me because like I said, I learned very early on, that you can't expect people to show up you know, just off the strength that it's you. You have to give them a reason to want to show up. The frustration comes at comes in with the people that I have met over the years whether it's been through schools or programs or traveling, whatever. The people who have known me for a long while but may not really have... they're not in my close circle, you know? We will call these but the outer circle of mf's, that's what we call them. Who might be you, might be somebody that I know through you.

But this circle of people who will not engage with anything that I post, I mean, whether it be a like, a comment, a share, which of course, like I just said it was free. Won't buy anything won't reach out, they won't ask you how you're doing, they won't check on you, they won't. You know, normally, this is normal because like I said, these are out of circle of people. These aren't really the people that we're expecting to show up for us every time because we don't know them like that. We know them but we don't know them like that. But these are also the people who feel like because they have access to you that when they need things you should be readily available for them. And let me make one thing clear because I don't want to sound like I'm just a complete bitch. You know, I can be be a little bitchy at times, but I'm not a complete one. I have no problem with helping people it's actually one of my favorite things to do. Right? I truly enjoy and if you know me, you know that I truly enjoy watching people progress from point A to point B. I like being in this might be a little selfish, but I like being able to give people you know, resources or advice or be able to talk someone through where they're currently at, and watch how they progress. I like helping people level up, you know, I like being a part of that. And I really enjoy people to see people winning. So it's not that I'm just like, oh my god, people are hitting me for favors. Not It's not that. But when you have this outer circle of folks who will ignore everything that you do and say and won't engage with anything that you post, won't buy nothing, won't check in on you. And they slide into your DM'S or they might still have your number from years ago. And they hit you, and in it seems like that they checking on you but the second Getting that you respond, they're asking for a favor. And then some people don't even have the decency of hiding what they asking for they don't even ask how you doing this just straight come out with the favor. And if y'all could see my inbox you would understand how frustrated I am right now. Because people really ask me for a lot and it's like, you can't even do something as simple as liking a post sharing a post you can't even. Like, you know someone that could be very beneficial and you won't even connect me like you haven't reached out to me in years. But suddenly, suddenly that you know, the moment that she decided: Okay, I want to start this business venture and oh, yeah, I remember that miesha is a really good resource. Let me hit her and see how she can help me. That shit is rude like as hell. Like, it'ss hella rude. And those of you who jump into my DM'S trying to pick my brain, it's like lordy jesus. You, you can tell how I feel about it based off of the responses you get, because I never, you know, I never deny any one help that they need. But it could even be like the Oh, wow, I'm super excited about this thing that you're doing. I'm so happy for you. I am so proud of you. Please let me know any way I can be of help. 

Or it's.. Oh, yeah. Here you go. Because it's like, how can y'all expect someone to constantly give and give and give while you drain them? And you can't even do something as simple as engaging with the content. Right? You're not here because you enjoy the stuff. You're not here because you are interested in what I have going on. And that's it. And that's like, really the thing for me is that in these messages, people be like, Oh, yeah, I see that you're doing a podcast. I really enjoy your podcast. Also. Can you find 50 people  to donate to this link, and it's like. Where were you when I was looking for donations for Hustld? Where were you? Right? And I really believe that if you continue putting good energy out into the universe at some point it's going to come back to you. Right? So it might not come back to you from the same person, it might not come back to you, in the same way. But at some point it's coming back to you. So if I continue to be of help to people, at some point, this will pay off. But at the same time, I want you guys listening, you know, it might not even be me that you do this to. It might be someone else. It might be another black woman somewhere who you're constantly asking for her services, but not offering to pay her. And you might be listening to me talk right now and be like, Oh, damn, I definitely did that to Jessica yesterday. Right and decide, we're not going to do that anymore.

Here's our here. Here's our, here is a couple of ways but you know, if you're looking to reach out to a black woman in your life, in need of some of our help or services, here's some ways to do it without seeming like a using asshole. Okay, well maybe go through your page and see what she's posting talking about lately. Right? And if you see that she has a project that she's working on, and she's been asking people to engage with, maybe we start with engagement. Maybe we start commenting, maybe we start liking, maybe we start comm, or wait I just said commenting. Maybe we start posting links to her website. Maybe we know someone who might need her services so we share with other people. All of this is stuff that we can do for free.

Now, once we get past the free stuff, let's analyze the question that we are about to ask this woman. Right. So let's say she's builds websites, for example. I don't know. I don't know why that's an example. We're gonna use I don't know who this could be about. Let's say she builds websites and we are looking to have a website built, but we cannot pay her and we know we cannot afford her prices. So we decided to build our own website. In that we're thinking, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna build this on my own. But I also know, this woman that I know from middle school, does this type of work. Let me reach out to her. Maybe instead of sending her 50 messages where we're just asking her to basically to build this site by hand for us through our DM's you know, for free, maybe we offer her a little bit of money, maybe we maybe the request comes with a cash app, maybe we you know, like something there is something that you can do so that you're not just pulling water from the well you're also, you know, putting something back in, because at some point the well dries up. At some point she no longer has help to give you at some point she's tired as fuck. You have drained her of all the energy that she has to work on her own shit because she's trying to help you for free. The person who doesn't even engage with the shit that she posts, but is just here to use her, right. So maybe we need to start changing the way that we approach people when we need their help. Maybe we think of ways that we can trade something that we have with something that we need. Because if I do hair, and I'm asking for this woman to build my website, but I know I can't pay her, maybe I'll offer to do her hair. If I sell, perfume and I'm asking for this woman to manage my social media and I know I can't pay her. Maybe I offered to give her some perfume. Like, you know, what do they call it back in the day bartering. Are we bartering like it has to be something that can be done so we just aren't draining from people all the time. And also like it makes me think like. How does someone have that much audacity to do this and does it benefit you guys I really like I really want to know like, for those of you who do this for those of you who take without gjving how much has it helped you? Should instead of advising people, you know, to be more giving, more helpful, instead of just draining. Should I go out and just drain too? Like I want to know like, I think the word is leaching, because that's what y'all be doing in my inbox leaching. Am I doing it wrong, is that is that why things are popping off? Like am I, am i doing it wrong? Should I also be leaching? So I'mma just end this was a few key points that I want you guys to take away from this episode cuz I know I rambled a little and also know that this was kind of like a surprise thing. So the moral of this episode is If you are that person who does not support your friends, maybe your goal this week should be looking at how you can be of help how you can be supportive of people, right? If you are the person who is taking without giving, maybe your goal this week should be looking at how you can be. Shit I don't know, y'all need to just stop.

Sike nah. Maybe your goal that this week should be looking into how you can rectify which you've already done and how you can replenish the energy of the people that you have drained that energy from and if you are the person who was feeling drained, you know, or you're just feeling down because you feel like it your tribe has not shown up for you the way that they should have. Then I really want you to open your journal today and write exactly what your goals are for the rest of the year. I want you to write where you want to see yourself this time next year. I want you to write why you started this to begin with. And I want you to write what is your end goal for this project. And after you're done that, I want you to go back on your social media pages and look at where you started, compared to where you are now and if you just started that's okay. And I want you to look at how excited you were, when you started this project, whatever that project may be. And I want you to remember the energy that you had when you begun and do not allow anyone to drain that energy from you, protect your peace.